A sapling planted on the road side is fenced initially, mainly to get it protected. Selection of the fence, space between the fence and the sapling, provision for watering the plant etc lies in the hands of the gardener. A good gardener knows the importance of each stage, facilitates the sapling to have its natural growth and at the right time removes the fence too.
When a parent was expressing his concern about bringing up adolescents, i was reminded of the gardener and the sapling relationship. many parents in the name of providing the fence out of love invariably try to impose all that's possible on the sapling and eventually literally suffocate the growth.
A little deeper look reveals the insecurity, fear and failure of the parent to express as closed fencing. Acceptance of the plant as it is(not imposing all that was not possible for him) and confidence in one's own self lets the beautiful birth of the individual.
The importance of one's own clarity is so vital for the interconnectedness of many lives around too. Such a wonderful kid but unfortunately in the hands of a confused mind, end result is invariably not so pleasant. Not just providing the fence is enough but removing it totally at the right time too is equally important.
This analogy goes well for our own selves too in our day to day living. So its important to get stabilized and then be a support if needed. Discovering one's own self enables to witness the blossoming of many byproducts. The way --- Meditation!