Saturday, May 31, 2008

~ Fence ~

A sapling planted on the road side is fenced initially, mainly to get it protected. Selection of the fence, space between the fence and the sapling, provision for watering the plant etc lies in the hands of the gardener. A good gardener knows the importance of each stage, facilitates the sapling to have its natural growth and at the right time removes the fence too.

When a parent was expressing his concern about bringing up adolescents, i was reminded of the gardener and the sapling relationship. many parents in the name of providing the fence out of love invariably try to impose all that's possible on the sapling and eventually literally suffocate the growth.

A little deeper look reveals the insecurity, fear and failure of the parent to express as closed fencing. Acceptance of the plant as it is(not imposing all that was not possible for him) and confidence in one's own self lets the beautiful birth of the individual.

The importance of one's own clarity is so vital for the interconnectedness of many lives around too. Such a wonderful kid but unfortunately in the hands of a confused mind, end result is invariably not so pleasant. Not just providing the fence is enough but removing it totally at the right time too is equally important.

This analogy goes well for our own selves too in our day to day living. So its important to get stabilized and then be a support if needed. Discovering one's own self enables to witness the blossoming of many byproducts. The way --- Meditation!


fruitu said...

Relationships break when there is no truth,Truth brings us strength.
Who recogonise the non-changing amidst the change, are the wisest of the all.

nice blog merging point.

Merging Point said...

"Relationships break when there is no truth,' -- TRUTH, the most debatable topic by itself Fruitu.
Truth of one's own self brings clarity and dissolves unwanted fear and insecurity.

Glad you liked it and thanks for your comments.

Nature Nut /JJ Loch said...

Absolutely beautiful, Merging Point. Fences are needed for protection and some parents are too busy to put them up for their children. What chaos happens because of that!

Hugs, JJ

Zareba said...

Second attempt!

I enjoyed your analogy, particularly as my name means a fence of sorts. It is the thorn baracade built to keep the people and livestock safe from marauding lions and such. My second smile is as I type this because I am also a Leo!

Merging Point said...

Yes JJ!
Fences should not turn out to be confinement. Then the beauty is devoured by the beast.

Merging Point said...

Oh WOW!! Zareba -- in which language?
This post seem to relate to your personal identifications.
Thanks for commenting.

Zareba said...


Zareba is a name that I felt was mine from very early childhood and never knew what it meant until I was in my 30s. It refers to the thorn fence that is used in the Middle East as well as in Africa to keep the nomadic people and their livestock safe at night. I also try to provide a safe haven here in my Time Warp for all who find their way here.

Since I am also a Leo, Leo rising, it seems that I am the safe enclosure also meant to keep me out.

I will have to think on this one a bit. :-)

Merging Point said...

Thank you for the wonderful explanation Zareba!
The word has a wonderful melody when pronounced too.

Robin said...

Hi there - I think what you are saying is not only relevant to parents - I need to not be too over-protective of my partner, and remind myself that when I want to "help" him with something, it is myself I need to know better (which is basically what you said in the last bit!)

Merging Point said...

Lovely Robin!
Once we understand the base, we can apply it starting with our own self to endless situations.
the most interesting and insightful application starts right here, within one's own self.

Mark said...

I love the analogy of the fence that you used. Excellent. I will be using this to help others understand. Thank-you so much for your wisdom.

Merging Point said...

Welcome Mark! sharing and applying is indeed the esential part of wisdom.

Liara Covert said...

You share a wealth of wisdom here. When it comes to parents, they may find it easier to focus on what their teen isn't doing than on what parental perception reveals about themselves. Whenever human beings begin to view themselves as a victim, or in some sense losing control over other people, this is like a wake up call to learn a few things about the self.

Merging Point said...

Thank you for your lovely comments Liara!
Basically, its a sign of insecurity and fear with and within oneself that tends to express differently.

Nature Nut /JJ Loch said...

Merging Point, is everything all right? I have been thinking about you and wondering where you are.

Hugs, JJ

Merging Point said...

Sweet of you, dear JJ! Oh! all is fine with just a change in activity. Am now on a new project where both my body and mind need more time.
here is a new one just for you!
i did squeeze in between to run thro all your pictures, cudnt go thro the posts in detail. will catch up